I gathered all my nerve this evening and went to a Spanish service, all by myself.
It was a traumatic experience, considering how I hate new situations and crowds of strangers. However, I am determined to expand my linguistic horizons, and this seemed a good option. It was fun, in spite of my emotional trauma. I discovered how helpless and stupid it feels to know you sound like a 2-year old trying to communicate your thoughts. . .the few thoughts I was forced into trying to communicate before I escaped, that is.
Don't misunderstand. I fully intend to go back--regularly. Spanish is a beautiful language, and I am excited about finally building on my meagre foundation and finding somewhere to use it. I just know it will be. . .challenging.